How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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