The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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