the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Randomize
