somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
