They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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