doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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