the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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