Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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