Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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