also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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