uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
that is very illegal...i love you.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
