we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
