Where is the hickey?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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