Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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