you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
