you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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