have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
