Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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