Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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