I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
