I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
