belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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