Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
