I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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