Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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