Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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