Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Randomize
