Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
