I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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