Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
