Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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