You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
