she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
