i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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