i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
