It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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