Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
