His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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