I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
