Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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