Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
