One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
