and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
how does that bad decision feel?
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