Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
