Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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