I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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