you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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