ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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