Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
