11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
