oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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